when u know you gotta make things right.
Sunday, April 27, 2008 ( 12:50 PM )
She waited for me early Saturday morning. Hidden in the dark, she sat at the corner of the sofa. Obviously, i got a little nervous and went up to her smiling hoping that she doesn't say a word. True enough, she didn't, but you could see it in her eyes, she wasn't please. Still i thank my lucky stars she wasn't furious and decided to give her a light peck on her cheek and whispered "i love you, goodnight". Clearly i was just avoiding being nagged at. She sensed that and gave me the benefit of a doubt and accepted it as good gesture. She went straight into her room without saying a word and i gave a sigh of relieve.
The very next morning i was awoken by the repeated bellowing of my name. It was her calling. She was ill. I had a sudden rush of panic.
Often enough, i neglect my priorities. I set them straight. Family before fun. But often then most i get them all messed up. However, at that very moment i knew that i cant forever in my life press the snooze button to my responsibilities. Being the only child doesn't mean, easy life. I understood long ago that i have to be responsible for my parents. They have given me their all and the least i could do is spear them my time and be there when they need me. Instead of making them worried sick for me half of their life, make them proud of me. Believe me, i know. But sometimes when everyone's having the time of their life, you cant help but be apart of it.
I blame myself for being a useless daughter. but i made a vow to change. Set things right, be a better daughter if not an excellent one.
I pen this down not to gain sympathy but to be my constant reminder that I have to change. Hopefully these aren't just words.
Oh, for those of you who actually read, she is doing better now. I'm glad i spend the weekends with her(:
i love you mama.
